Off for a week from social media…wish me luck.

On Monday night, after taking a bath and reading a book I realised that my attention is fiercely displaced and I am not feeling myself…. In my day job I often get to spend a whole day without talking to anyone (well, now many of us do that without any choice!) – however, when meetings happen, both arranged and sudden I do find it easy to stay on my feet…When left alone for a day with my thoughts and my laptop, I often find my mind drifting away in rather unhealthy directions, scrolling through staff on the internet and in worst cases, getting into the state of self-comparison to whoever I may find online…Or, reminiscing about the past by looking at old photos, pictures of countries and places I used to live in. Often nostalgia about Russia, France, Italy and so on…

I need to add here that my job is a researcher, which somehow entails competing with the whole world on ideas and new revelations while sitting in your room and trying to solve a problem that no-one knows how to solve or just about to do it soon enough that you’ll have to think of a new one again :)..this can feel exciting during one point of time and incredibly heavy during he other…

Scrolling through academic Twitter in the pandemic always leaves me overwhelmed, even though I feel like I want to know what’s going on and it has been a great source of finding out about interesting events or activities, getting inspired. However, in the middles of that, having a short space for a message often ends up in a space for rage, criticisms coming out form different voices…Maybe, lack of ability to explain, creates space for short and quick words which remind me at times of saying something without thinking and then hurting, breaking, etc… here is what Twitter is for me now.

Instagram on the other hand, again, in the pandemic, can make one feel that, on the opposite, you are not indulging enough as some are getting into cooking adventures, traveling, providing pictures of home and wardrobe parades…oh. Today I truly got lost in all of that and what I thought was a source of inspiration and staying connected has become my curse.

I must say, however, that even though WordPress is a social media platform, it never makes me feel this way and hopefully never will. Think that is simply because people take time to tell their story, to sit down to write, to put some thoughts in it, it is not just a quick spit. And I do love having a feed of people I never really met and hear from those who do not know me…

Anyways, what I am about to say is that I am going to give it a go this week ( I just turned off all my social media accounts) and I hope it ‘ll be a productive and present week, even though I may need to reconsider how I spend some time during the day to feel connected to the world. I do quite a few things daily though, yoga, meditation, reading (I should write about this soon) – but it is not enough I think….

Alright, leaving this here – to hold myself accountable. Off we go, wish me luck 🙂

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